However that day in April 1st, 2012 is when my Grandpa passed away. He was 90 years old and had a memory and conversation of a 40 year old. He enjoyed playing the lottery, primarily it gave him something to do as in walking everyday to the local store. To get his haircut, to get light groceries, to get out into the city.
My Grandparents moved here in the mid 80's from China into our home in Orange. We had a huge household as most of their children had came here as well. Do know my Grandparents had 10 children - 8 Daughters in a row and the last 2 were the boys. We took the bonus room and added walls to create more bedrooms. We probably had 16 people living there at one point!
As I was growing up, my Grandmother took me to Sycamore Elementary everyday as both my parents were working. She ensured I had my lunch and that I made it to class safely. She took my little brother, Keith, along with her until he himself started at the elementary school as well (he is 6 years younger then I).
After school, Grandpa would take me on a walk - sometimes to 7-11 to get a lotto ticket and a slurpee for me. But alot of the times we went to Mcdonald's on Chapman avenue. I remember the days when you got legos from the happy meals. Man did I get alot of legos. We talked about many thing over the years up and down Eckoff street, in which I truly can't remember today. But I do remember that he always had a few sayings that we always laughed about even to this day with my brother.
My Grandparents and some of their kids got a house in Anaheim in the early 90's and moved out of the Orange house. By then I was 13 years old and on my own to watch my brother. The house was quiet. Mcdonald's was a time to time event.
After I turned 16, my parents sold the Orange house and moved to Garden Grove. I wanted to finish at Orange High so my brother and I moved to into my Grandparents in Anaheim. I would commute from there to school with my own car and my brother would go to local schools. The house didn't seem so quiet anymore. I had my grandparents back and it seemed so familiar.
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| Great Grandparents to Bradyn, Titus and Judah - Judah's 30 day party June 2010 |
October 2011, I found out that Grandpa was having stomach pains and was having a biopsy and xray procedure in which they found Pancreatic Cancer. The choices were very slim. His age did not give him favorable odds on surgery and chemo would only extend his life a few months giving him horrible side effects.
The family decided on in-home hospice as his wife and children would able to give him the best care.
The next 6 months we visited my grandparents everyweek. We brought cards, pictures, stories, and smiles. Lottery tickets were a plenty and he loved to check them as soon as he got the results. He watched alot of international TV and he knew what was going on in the world to the tee. My kids lit up grandpa's face, and Titus always got the thumbs up. Bradyn always got the "good looking and tall" comment. Judah love blowing kisses to Grandpa. He and I talked about many things, but it was still hard to get deep into conversation because of the language barrier. I prayed for him, heck I prayed over him so many times. There were days when he looked great, and there were days that were pretty scary.
His appetite and the ability to keep food down got worse and worse through the months. I got instant message from my wife that he had stopped drinking water on Tuesday. We all visited him on Wednesday and his voice was hoarse. His stomach hurt and he was uncomfortable. We visited him again on Thursday and it was more amplified. My mom was bedside with him and we talked about what he would want us to do with the huge Mega Millions jackpot. He clearly stated that he wanted us to be taken care of and then to create jobs and do social work, generally take care of others. We had some jokes that night and we talked about life. It was the last time I would hear his actual voice. I prayed for him that night, and boy did I pray for comfort.
Saturday we arrived around 2 p.m. and basically gave my kids the chance to say thier final goodbyes. Bradyn and Titus were pretty quick to do so and Judah was ever so sweet. My brother and some cousins played some basketball to get our minds cleared up and then we sat around Grandpa through the night. He was in so much discomfort and could not keep any liquids down. He couldn't say anything. Everything was done with hand motions and eye contact. Towards 8 p.m. I had my last communication with Grandpa. I brought Titus and Judah back in - they said goodbyes and love you's. Grandpa gave Titus a thumbs up telling him he's number one. It was really hard to go through this motion. His breathing was hard. I didn't want to leave him and it was 11:45 p.m., but I was un-prepared as I didn't have my eye contact solution with me and really didn't have much to offer to him. I just didn't want him to be alone when it got really tough, but I knew that his children were around and was working feverishly to keep him comfortable.
Sunday morning we skipped church as Jessikah had went to pick up Bradyn from a sleep over at a friend's house. When she got back we left for my grandparent's wondering what the day had in store for Grandpa. Upon arrival my uncle, standing outside, was shaking his head and gave us the thumbs down. I immediately knew that Grandpa was gone. The next few minutes was a blur, all my stuff was placed around the house, and I think I told Jess to send the kids upstairs. I walked into my Grandpa's room and he was still. He had just passed by about 10 minutes. His family and wife was around him. It was a very emotional charged room and it was an odd sight as I was so use to seeing him in a different way week in and week out for the past 6 months. But he was now no more in pain. He didn't have to drink or eat in pain. Unfortunately, the pain was now seen evidently in my Grandma that just broke my heart.
I thank God that Grandpa was given time for us to reflect and share our lives together before he passed. He raised great children of respect, he showed great wisdom, he refused to become stagnated in life and he loved his wife and his family. Tran Au is man that I am proud to call my grandfather. We will miss him and we will continue on his legacy. Services will be held at Pacific View Memorial in Corona Del Mar, Ca on April 9th.
Rest In Peace, gong gong.
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| Titus and Grandpa - Christmas 2010 |
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